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I'd like to remove my emotion chip now...


Today was highly un-thrilling.

It appears that my dad won't be getting out of the hospital today. I'd call to see what's up, but I really don't think I can deal with any of the possible answers. I'll deal tomorrow.

I've been waiting for the UPS guy to show up with Moya's new bits (well most of them). It's almost 9pm and UPS still claims that they'll be delivered today. I have my doubts.

I sat outside in the nice spring night-time air and thought about stuff for a while earlier. I miss P. You know what sucks about finally getting snuggles from someone you care about a lot? It's way too easy to start craving another fix. It's like crack. Snuggle-crack. What I really want to do is curl up with her, watch a movie, and stop worrying about what may or may not happen in other parts of my life. Of course thinking about her invariably leads me back to wondering if/when she'll land a good job in another city and disappear from my little corner of the world. Until this weekend, I think that I had firmly convinced myself that although I would miss her, it wouldn't be such a big deal.

I was full of it. It will be a big deal. I'll miss her an awful lot. I already have that icky knot in my gut because I know that she's looking to find a job that isn't quite as bad as her current one (and it wouldn't take much to find one that met that criteria). It makes sense that she look for a better job and in my head I think she should be looking, but I reallly really really wish there was someway she could stick around. I hate realizing that I need someone and at the same time I wouldn't want to do away with that need because it's a direct result of very good experiences with good people. Situations where someone gives you a connection in this world that is good and cool and which feels right. Those times and those connections are what make it possible to get through days/weeks like this....

Still though...

Blah. I'm going to go eat some of the Easter chocolate I swiped from R's house.