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Past Ramblings #2

-------------Today's Anecdote/Quote/Joke------------
"Changing the world is good for those who want their names in books. But being happy, that is for those who write their names in the lives
of others, and hold the hearts of others as the treasure most dear."
- R.A.Heinlein
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New High Score on Ms. Pac-Man = 128,320. Surpassed former high score of 123,310. Running out of quarters. Should probably change to a non quarter setting soon, but I'm worried about Andy playing it too much or being more of a brat because of it. We'll see. Once I get into my own place though I will most likely set it to be free. I'll just put my change dish near it :).

Boy, talk about discussing my deepest darkest thoughts and ideas. I saw Patch Adams today. That was a good movie. It got me thinking about my whole disillusionment thing. I think that I need to really get back into what I love doing. Building stuff, solving problems, finding solutions. That's what has always interested me. Keeping that in mind, right now I have plenty of things to focus and work on.

  • Money (or lack thereof) - I calculate that I need about $1000 a month to make ends meet. In order to not be stressed about money I would probably need to make $1500 more per month. Effectively that is more than what I earn working for my dad, but I'm not counting the intangables and perks that I get from that. Those more than likely add up to a decent bit. So I need to make more money.

  • Victor's Estates - I need to win. Raul Silva is a prick. He is also getting on my nerves with this stuff. It doesn't help that dad has made things more complicated than neccesary, but I think I can do it. Maybe its just that incredable ego of mine. Maybe I really can. I will have to make the effort and prove that I can do it.

  • Designing Buildings - I already have to consider the design for the Trowbridge Duplexes. If I can design and get those built, It'll make it a lot easier for dad to build the other duplexes in the subdivision and hopefully I can convince him to keep the ones that are nearby.

  • Computer Stuff - Ruben said that my current idea for wage is somewhat low. This is a pleasant surprise. I need to work out exactly how to do this and how to give people prices on stuff. Perhaps it would make sense to do a 25%-30% markup on parts and software for new systems and then charge by hour + a smaller markup on hardware/software for additional work. Either way I think that charging $20-$30 per hour maybe low, but it is currently enough for me and I think that it will make it more likely for people to hire me for stuff.

  • The Network for YHS - Who knows. I need to sit down and work out what I envision and then get that to PFC and see what he thinks and maybe how I could pursue that. I should also be prepared to sell the idea and do the work for another school if the opportunity arises.

  • Fixing up the Vehicles - 1976 Corvette Stingray (keep), 1952 Buick Special Eight (sell), 1970 Lincoln Continental (keep), 1970-ish Chevy/GMC Stepside Pickup (sell), 1990 For Bronco (use a lot). 198? Fiat X-19 (Jackie's car). 'Nuff said.


On the more personal front, I had a bit of a tiff with Kathrin today. I think that coming clean about what happened with CR (or more to the point what didn't happen) will help to make the point that she's acting a little well a lot flakey. I just wish that I didn't have the temptation to be evil. It would be so easy to just say to hell with it an hook up with her (well assuming she isn't to annoyed). The main reason why I don't is that I know that I would want to ditch her as soon as I found a more interesting prospect. Honestly, I don't want to have to deal with breaking up with someone. Not to mention the fact that I'm not all that interested in having sex with her so a relationship would just be way of having someone to go out with and spend time with. I guess that's not all that evil, but I suspect that its at least somewhat unethical in some sense since I KNOW that I don't want to take this any farther than cuddling and hanging out. Heck, I'm not even sure about the whole kissing thing. Then again, I'm never sure about the whole kissing thing.

I'm a spaz when it comes to relationships.... Well ok, I'm a spaz about other stuff to, but I'm an Uber-Spaz when it comes to relationships and intimacy. I keep thinking that it would be great, but somehow I also feel (and one might argue more strongly feel that) a relationship would be a nuisance and it would make it harder for me to accomplish my goals. I guess that is true. I want people that I can see once in a while and do stuff with, but not someone who actually has expectations of me and us and all that messy stuff. I guess in the long run the problem is that I am relatively content with the way things are now and what things do bug me are balanced out by my understanding that a relationship would involve a lot of work and effort. Probably more of these than I am totally willing to invest.

All that said though, there have been maybe 5 people in the world that I would have considered biting the bullet for. C, CR, C2, J, & L. Fortunately all of them are taken or at least realistically unattainable (e.g. distance). In some cases I was also aware that I wanted to get my act togethor a little better before reaqauinting myself with them.

<yawn> I'm getting tired. I'll write more tomorrow.

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