April 3rd, 2002


A question of perspective....

It's been one of those weeks...

I just remembered the highlight of the day (had this been a normal week).

I almost got run off the road by some dipshit in a silver rice burner of some sort. While I was on my way downtown this morning, some moron, was passing people on the breakdown lane and at one point he swerved onto the normal lanes and decided to pass me right as we were coming up to some slow moving cars so he cut into my lane from the right lane and he actually clipped the Bronco (I'll be using my mom's Bronco for a week or two until Winona is ship... errrr car shape again).

So, I had to waste half an hour sitting by the side of the road because since it was a hit and run, I had to report it to the P.D. and wait for an officer to take my statement. Believe it or not, this is the second time in the last 3 years that this has happened. In neither case was it all that exciting... if anything its mostly just annoying that people can be such complete and utter morons when they're behind the wheel. The one good thing of having some experience in this matter is that I had the foresight to memorize the dipshit's license plate, so I gave that to the 911 dispatch. Of course then the officer who took my statement said that it was unlikely that anything would/could be done to whoever was driving, but at least I know that this won't come back to bite me in the ass someday. I seem to recall that leaving the scene of an accident is a semi significant crime, one that I would rather not get hassled about.

The funny thing being that while I was sitting there by the side of the road, I actually burst out in actual honest laughter. It was just such an absurd thing to happen. Are the powers that be trying to tell me something? If so, I'm in trouble, because I’m not getting the message :).... It was yet another surreal moment in my life of late. Sitting in my car laughing my ass off because some jack ass with a quasi-fast (and ugly) car hit me.... It helped that the Bronco didn't have a scratch on it and I suspect that the rice burner might have done some damage to it's rear quarter panel (bwahahahah, tremble before my Maibatsu Monstrosity!!!!... 20 points if you can name the reference)....


So - yeah, that little bit of excitement totally slipped my mind until just now. On any other week I would have been ranting and raving about something like that all day, but today, I'm just glad that things are ok and that they might even turn out to be really cool (depending on P's actions and my father's following of doctor's orders)...

I guess it just goes to show that sometimes life is just a matter or perspective.

PS - Before anyone gets too worried about driving in El Paso, I will point out that I normally drive between 400-600 every week (that comes out to somewhere between 20,800 - 31,200 miles per year, not counting road trips) . I've had quite a few car adventures in the last 3 or so years, but if you break it down by miles driven it's actually nothing too significant.
  • Current Music
    Lit - Miserable

MasterCard Wedding...

I'm not sure how much I would believe this, or even that it's particularly funny, but it is an interesting story.... I suspect that it would be a lot more amusing if I had recently been cheated on (in which case I'm good with being neutral about it :).... Still though under the right circumstances I could see this being quite satisfying as the groom.


This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming many from long distances to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair including the wedding party was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone and asked them to open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes he turned to the best man and said "F---k you!". Then he turned to his bride and said "F--- you!" Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said "I'm outta here."

He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

While most people would have cancelled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair this guy goes through with the charade as if nothing were wrong. His revenge...making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception and best of all trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends...$32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion...$3,000.
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui $8,500.

The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man...Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy; for everything else there's MASTERCARD!!!
  • Current Mood
    chipper chipper

Pretty colors...

Hmmm I was perusing my friends page and I am seeing that I need to tweak colors again, I've managed to get some sets of colors repeated (or nearly repeated). I know, it's not a huge deal, but you would think I could come up with unique color combinations for people....

At least this is a simple thing to deal with... what a pleasant change :)
  • Current Music
    John Lee Hooker - Boom Boom Boom

Grrrr.... More UPS bitching...

Well remember those bits of Moya's that I've been expecting? Well they are now (semi-officially) MIA. No one is quite sure where they got off to, but they didn't get here (and that is the big problem). I've talked to the main UPS call-center, the local UPS branch, and the shipper and in all cases, the answer is: "we'll look into it but it might take a couple of days).... Blah....

The only good thing about this is that if UPS lameness is directly related to computer studliness, then the new Moya will be quite hardcore. Of the past dozen or so computers that I've made, anytime that UPS didn't screw up, the machine tended to have issues, but if UPS managed to foul things up in some way, the machine (once it's built) will be very reliable and studly...... At least that's what I'm going to tell myself until I have a new, working machine.

Oh, and can I just add that I now really despise reading legal documents that have to do with the sale of properties. There should be no reason for anyone to write in such a convoluted and unnatural way. Anyone care to guess what I've been doing all afternoon? (aside from being on the phone with UPS)

Anyhow. This will definitely go down in the record books as one of my top 5 most uncooperative weeks, ever. I soooooo can't wait for Friday.

PS However, do note that I said uncooperative and not bad. This hasn't quite been a bad week since on the whole I'm not really any worse off than I was last week, it's just been a week where a lot of things (some big and some not so big) don't quite seem to work out the way that they were supposed to...
  • Current Mood
    tired tired