July 18th, 2002



I didn't make it out to Rugby practice after all.

Work was a nightmare, and ultimately, I don't think I'm really all that interested in playing a sport for a semi-pro group at this point in my life (to much of a time commitment). Then there's the little detail of needing medical insurance in order to play (and my not having it) and I'm thinking maybe I should try some of that self-preservation stuff that folks talk about all the time....

I feel lame about it, but eh, I think I should be honest with myself and admit that if I do Rugby a lot of random stuff would go by the wayside. When I used to play in college it was cool because I did it around my classes/work etc... and I didn't have much else to do at those times. Now though, I have lots of random things to deal with and the threat of getting hurt is a significant problem. Financially it would suck and it would be a nightmare as far as work goes. Getting hurt at work is one thing, insurance would cover that, getting hurt on the field would be a whole different mess...

This is the most mature, responsible thing I can do, but I still feel like a fucking loser for not being able to just say "To hell with it, I'm going to play."

I am increasingly not thrilled with the prospect of growing older and becoming more responsible (even if I'm still a goofy kid about most things).

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