October 2nd, 2002


In the immortal words of....

Earlier, I found myself reading through my old blog. No particular reason, just randomly felt like clicking on the link to it and reminisce a little. It was interesting (to me at least ;). Some of what I read brought back fond and fun memories of days gone by. Some of it seemed like it had happened to someone else. I can just vaguely remember being that person. It's hard to believe how different my perspective about some things is now. Some things seemed like they happened just yesterday, but I know that most of them happened almost 4 years ago. That's such a mind-blowing amount of time. Surely it can't have been that long. It can't have been 8 years ago that I started college.

I wish that I'd had something like LJ, or even just the thought of doing this all those years ago. I'd be curious to hear from that younger me. Even looking back today I could see where I had already blocked out some less pleasant memories and brightened some of the nicer ones. I'm ok with the fact that this happens. I suspect it's the only way to stay functional in our world. Remembering things too clearly seems like a good way to bring about mental unhealth. After all, we all have to be the heroes of our own stories. Still though, I like reminding myself about things. Not necessarily dwelling on things (although I'm sure I might do a little of that ;), but just going through things again for old times sake.

Of course that brings about thoughts about what I'll think when I read back on these entries 4, or 5, or however many years from now. Where will I be? What'll I be doing? Will I look back and grimace at how clueless I was? Will I have finally found a place to fit in happily? I guess I just have to wait and see what happens, but I always thought that was kind of fun. It's odd, but rehashing old times in my head, using the Cliff's Notes that are my old blog, I couldn't help but feeling kinda good. I got my share of curves thrown at me, but all in all, I knew what I wanted and I've more or less gotten it. Maybe that means I'll be able to get what I want for the next chunk o' time. That'd be nice....

Looking at the old blog also reminded me of one of my little habits from the old days. Before I would only post on big summary post at the end of the day and I'd pick out a good, fitting quote. Even if the day was mostly dull and non-interesting, I'd manage to find a quote that captured my mood at the time and that was cool. I think I might try to recapture some of that within the framework of LJ. Mood quotes and mood icons should be interesting to look at in the months or years to come... Since I was reminiscing, this quote came up and I find that it was fitting 8 years ago and it's probably even more fitting now....

"Sometimes you just have to take the leap, and build your wings on the way down" -K.Yamada
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