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Shhhhhhh.....

I meant to post about this yesterday but I (obviously) didn't get around to it.

So, Friday afternoon, Dave and I headed out to see Bad Boys II. It was a fun movie. I'd give it an 8, maybe 8.5. It was very much the typical summer action movie. I enjoyed it quite a bit. However, I almost didn't....

See, originally we were going to the 3:50 showing. There was a bit of a miscommunication and Dave ended up helping Shannon out by giving her a ride to Best Buy. Dave said he'd be by so we could catch the 4:40 showing but apparently Shannon decided to throw in several extra stops (of questionable urgency) despite knowing that Dave was trying to go watch the movie and that I was waiting. I thought that was a bit rude since none of the extra stops were really critical, they were of the "well since we're out..." type. She ended up taking a lot longer than she should have and I was getting annoyed because we ended up missing the 4:40 showing. If not for the fact that I know Dave and I know he's pretty good about being punctual, I would have been really annoyed. Considering that Shannon and Martin had been criticizing me for being rude recently, I was rather miffed by the time Dave showed up. Mostly because I totally busted my ass to get home, shower, and change in time to make the 3:50 showing (the one perk to the current business lull is that I can take afternoons off like that). I was rushing for a couple of hours and then it turns out that there was no reason for it. A bit annoying... grrrr...

So, we finally get to the theatre and get tickets. We find the correct screen and manage to find decent (but not preferred seats). We sit down and chat for like a minute before the previews start. That's when I start to hear something.

It was a low rumbling coming from behind me. A low rumbling which I could soon identify as talking. Loud talking. I kind of rolled my eyes, but decided to blow it off as these were the previews. There were several cool previews (some new ones too) and about 20 minutes later the movie was finally about to start....

Much to my dismay, the person who had talked through the previews was still talking. The movie starts and you have a lot of noise, some explosions etc... and I could hear this person talking. Constantly. So, following standard Seinfeld movie etiquette, I did the half turn and glare. He saw me and just looked away and kept talking. I turned back around waited another couple of minutes and did the full turn and extended glare. The guy once again made eye contact, he paused for a moment and kept talking. At this point I could see that he was apparently translating the movie for an older guy sitting next to him. Now, while this is nice of him, I don't need to hear his translation. Particularly not from about 10 feet away. So I did the perfunctory "Shhhhhh!!!" and turned around again. That did no good. He. just. kept. talking.

Now, since I was not in the most forgiving of moods that afternoon, I decided to be a good movie patron and walk out to find a manager and ask him to shut this guy up. So I get up, turn to my left and make my way to the end of the row. I turn to head out of the theatre and... D'oh! This theatre only has one door and it's on the other side. So, I find myself coming up to the guy who's still talking without a convenient exit. Time for plan B. Which I didn't have at the time.... Oh well, I'll improvise.

I walk up to the guy, put my finger to my mouth in the universal "quiet" gesture and Shush him... very loudly. Then, I turn around and walk back to my seat and I see Dave sliding down his chair supressing a giggle. Apparently, I shushe him a bit more loudly than I had intended too. Dave suspects that the entire theatre saw and heard this. Now, while it did get the point across quite nicely I hadn't intended to put on a show for the rest of the theatre. Ooops. So, I sit back down feeling kind of cool because I pulled it off and goofy because I hadn't actually intended to do that and noticing that the chatting behind me had stopped (then again, the chatting in the entire theatre had stopped). Dave later said that it looked like what you picture a grown-up doing to a 5 year old. As he put it "That was the polite civilized equivalent of bitch slapping the guy in public, you totally dissed him"

Then we have the piece de resistance...

The guy gets up walks to my seat, taps me on the shoulder and says: "Excuse me, but I don't think I was talking that loudly, and I don't think that was called for" At that point, I was completely shocked. Seriously. I couldn't believe the guy had the balls to try and scold me for shusshing him at a movie. You know, those things that you don't talk during.... My response? "DUDE! I could hear you all the way over here.... *very loud movie explosion* over this!" At that point Dave is pretty much just laughing and I suspect that the people behind us were also amused by just how offended I was at this guy. I mean, I'm turned around in my seat and I'm pointing to the screen as an explosion happens and looking at the guy like he's a complete and utter moron. This was the look of utter contempt x10 with hand gestures.

Fortunately at that point he decided to go back to his seat and I sat back down to enjoy the movie. I completely forgot about the guy after about 5 minutes but according to Dave there wasn't a single peep out of that group for the rest of the movie. Needless to say, after the movie, Dave and I were laughing about this incident for the next several hours. It was yet another one of those situations that seems to happen a little bit too often in my life. I couldn't have planned it any better or more amusingly.

After the movie, we hit VI as usual. Dave flirted with the hostess and one of the waitresses and I drank my tea and had my pie. We also commented on the annoying new assistane manager, discussed philosophy, comedy, computers, and girls and kidded around with the waitstaff (so, the usual). A quick trip to Wal-Mart for dog food and it was officially time to call it a night. That was actually the first and only night to date where my porch hasn't been comfortable for prolonged hanging out. It was too hot and humid and there was no breeze at all so we cut short our usual BS session on the porch. I headed inside to futz around on the computer a bit and play American Mcgee's Alice (which I picked up from the discount bin at Wally World).

That was pretty much the entire night.

Comments

a giggle? dude...i was supressing an outburst that would have the entire theater angry at me LOL

*ehem* excuse me? Dave flirted with the hostess and one of the waitresses ??? I openly flirted with Anessa the waitress, yes ...but if I recall, it was you, on the way back from Wal-Mart, just as we passed the intersection of Mesa/Sun Bowl that proclaimed that the flirting from Lacey (the hostess) was with you... :-P LOL it was the nose thing you did...see. LOL

Mr Indecisive strikes again...

I seem to recall that you lobbied VERY heavily to be the one that Lacey was flirting with after I joked that she was flirting with me. I decide to give you credit for flirting with her and you throw it back at me? Come one dude, make up your mind :-p.

Besides, the nose thing was an accident, you're the one that was exchanging raspberries with her ;)

Re: Mr Indecisive strikes again...

she was flirting w/ you LOL!

i ain't flirtin' w/ anybody there or anywhere anymore :-)

Re: Mr Indecisive strikes again...

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I saw bad boys II on friday, and this one chick tried to start some shit with me, over saving a seat for my boyfriend.
The only place I could find seats was in the first fucking row, which really doesn't bother me so much as long as i'm close to the middle... I scoot as close to the middle as i can without crowing the woman to my right..leaving a spot between myself and her, and save a spot on my left for my boy, by putting my purse on the chair(he'd run to the car to deposit the leftovers from dinner in the trunk)... that left one unused spot on the end. well this chick and her boyfriend come in, intending to sit where my purse is.. she sees my purse, and picks it up and throws it on the ground. Which is just plain fucking rude.
So I say "Excuse me, this seat is saved" as I lean over and pick up my purse, really trying not to make a big deal out of it, cause I KNOW I'm prone to overreacting.
So she says, quite loudly, "What, you have a problem with me sitting here?" So I said "Generally when one puts something on a seat like that, it indicates that the seat is reserved. So I'd appreciate it if you could find elsewhere to sit"
Then she accusses me of "talking fancy" to her, or something.. When, really, that's just the way I speak.
She cops this huge attitude, waving her arms and making this huge deal, trying to drag other people into the altercation, so I ask her if she could hold on a sec, I'll scoot into the seat that's between me and the woman to my right...But that means I have to move our jackets, my purse, the popcorn and sodas... She wasn't listening, so I said, rather harshly "Hold the hell on, okay?" Someone behind me said "Christ, can you shut up?" to the chick, but she was looking at me, thought I'd said it.. And threw her stuff down and stepped up to me, and yelled "WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE, BITCH?"
At this point, I just stand up. I ring in at 6'4", 260lbs... and this little chick couldn't have been more than 15 years old. She came up to about chest-high on me, and I said in my Scary Deep Voice, "Listen to me for a sec. I'd love to go outside and beat the shit out of you, but if we leave, someone will take all our seats. I'm going to move my shit over, you're going to stand right there and not make a goddamn sound. And then we can all sit down. Understand?"
She just nodded. The boyfriend appeared at the end of the row, ringing in at 6'6"... she looked terrified. We moved our stuff down, he and I sat down, I nodded to the chick's boyfriend, and the two of them sat down..
I heard him talking to her during the previews... something along the lines of "How stupid ARE you."..
It was hilarious.

Heh, very cool.

Normally I'm not a big fan of using my size to intimidate people, but I have to admit that being bigger than most folks has saved me a lot of hassles in the past.

That's definitely one of those situations that would have been great to see :)
Normally I'm not a big fan of using my size to intimidate people

I'm callin' BS on this one....you've admitted that you like looking big, tough and sometimes scary/indimdating :-P

Survery says, wrong answer Luncbox.

There is a difference between finding it amusing when it happens (or not going out of my way to appear non-intimidating) and actively squaring my shoulders, standing up at my full height (i.e. not slouching) and really trying to intimidate someone in order to get them to do what I want. Even in this incident, I don't make a point of using my size to intimidate the guy, in fact I make a point of keeping my distance at first and I stay seated when he came up to me for round 2. If I wanted to really try to intimidate him I would have stood up and totally changed my demanor towards him. Intimidation would have been something like saying "Shut the fuck up before I throw you a beating" etc...

The problem with trying to intimidate someone is that if they panic or feel threatened it's a lot easier for things to progress into a fight and I really would rather avoid those situations.
Perhaps it would make more sense if I reworded it as:

Normally I'm not a big fan of getting people to do what I want by intimidating them with my size/demeanor. That's too much like being a bully.

If someone sees me walking down a street at night and crosses to the other side in order to avoid me, that's amusing (but a bit insulting). If someone genuinely feels threatened by me because of something I said or because of how I acted, I do feel a bit bad about that. So, if it's accidental, or incidental in me being me (i.e. kind of goofy/silly but mostly harmless) then I find it amusing because clearly the people are just not paying attention to who I am. If I do something on purpose that makes someone feel threatened, then I do feel bully-ish about it, EVEN if it's someone that's being a total asshole and they deserve it.
well...be aware that more often than not, the first impression folks get of you is that you're intimidating... a few people have even refered to you as "the scary guy" (but at least not creepy LOL)

though once they start talking to you, i'm sure the "oh he's just a goofy dork" truth hits them :-P hehe
Whatever dude.

I can't control what people's first impressions of me are, so if they think I'm intimidating when I walk into a room that's their problem. I just don't like using that to bully people around with. It's come in handy in helping me avoid bad situations in the past, but I am aware that it can backfire and result in an actual fight if I overdo it.

and that's Mr. Goofy Dork to you Lunchbox.
and i do make it a point to say "he's not..."