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Always alone...

I dealt with some unfinished personal stuff tonight. Tieing up loose ends and such.

Even though the outcome was probably a foregone conclusion, it still hurts quite a bit.


knowing your sense of home decor...thought maybe you'd get a kick out of this
Is "Crash Into Me" the best thing to be listening to then?
I'm not saying to listen to anything chipper, but maybe something a little. . . neutral. Like some Monk or something.
I, personally, like listening to angsty depressive music when I'm angsty and depressed... makes me feel like I'm not alone in feeling that way and so, oddly enough, this makes me feel slightly better.
heard "Suddenly" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club? good song...
I tend to like listening to angstry depressing stuff when I'm feeling like that because it helps me experience it better. A lot of times music tends to just be background stuff while I'm going about my day, but on particularly bad (and good days) there's nothing quite like sitting by a window with a good view of the world and listening to mood appropriate music and just feeling whatever it is there is to feel.

I remember going up to the Green building on many occasions with my CD player and looking out the window just thinking about life and stuff. Fortunately my house has a pretty good view so I can wallow as much as I please ;)
I'm a firm believer in doing the wallowing in self pity thing when necessary. It seems like part of our modern nature is to not really give into the sadder emotions that we experience and I've always found that music is a great way to really experience that stuff.

Mind you, I don't like doing it, but it's cathartic when you can really get into the music and experience those emotions. Of course then I turn around and crank up something loud and upbeat so that I can turn off the wallowing bit.

The suggestion for Monk was good though. I've been listening to a lot of that recently. It was particularly well suited for my mood when I was figuring out how I felt about the latest fiasco.

Yeah, I'm not sure why I said that. I do it ALL the time. My love for New Order was conceived through wallowing. And just this morning, I had a moment with South.

That was much appreciated.
it's never a "foregone conclusion" until it's all over.
That's true.

I guess I just realized that I'd seen the writing on the wall and just didn't want to make myself believe it until recently. It was easier to pretend that things were ok than to accept that this was seriously messed up.