We regret to announce the untimely demise of Victor, who on the 3rd of January of this year was callously perforated by a deranged axe-murderer. This unfortunate incident occurred in an anthill somewhere on Interstate 52. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Does anyone have a band-aid?" just before expiring. Victor is survived by Gladys Happyfoot, a trained chimpanzee. Funeral services will be held the 1st of next month.
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