Log in

No account? Create an account

Dragon's Rules....

I didn't get a chance to track down Dream today. The joys of pursuing someone during working hours. It gave me time to think though. I'm really not that clueless about the dating thing, I'm just utterly terrified of being rejected. I think I need some rules ("well it's not a rule as much as a guideline".... guess which movie :).

After spending the last few days angsting about this, I need a laugh. Here are some semi-serious rules....

Dragon's Unisex Rules (ok guidelines) for dating and other hazardous pursuits (Part 1)
editor's note: remember, I'm single right now so take these comments with a grain (or block) of salt... I won't be held accountable if you scare away your spouse after following these guidelines... then again no one has any restraining orders out against me so I'm not a total wacko

Rule #0: Don't be yourself.... at least not at full volume. Look, let's be honest here, only the most dull and uninteresting of people can "be themselves on a date". The cool people tend to be at least a little crazy That's good. Do you know all the lines from Star Wars (I know some folks who do)? Do you have a very in depth and well thought out theory(ies) about a TV show like X-files, Babylon 5, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I do)? Would you say that you are obsessed with anything (yes)? Do you see where I'm going with this? It's one thing to be interesting and quirky, it's completely different to be a goofball in a Klingon costume.

Rule #1: Keep It Simple.... Age old advice that is particularly important here. If you ever find yourself using terms like "plausible deniability" or "collateral damage" or just generally planning your moves as if you were planning the invasion of Normandy, you've probably taken a wrong turn somewhere. Talking about a date or prospective date should not sound like you are being debriefed by the C.I.A.

Rule #2: Thou shalt not mock.... anyone. If you've ever made someone cry with your wit and snappy remarks, be sure to tone it down. Humour is great if you're on stage, but few people find it really endearing when you rip into the inept wait-person and reduce them to a quivering puddle of self-doubt and shame. Remember they're still making up their mind about you so you don't want them thinking "Mein Gott! What'll s/he do when I piss him/her off?" Making the other person wonder what kind of demon you become when you get upset is not really a good place to go on a date.

Rule #3: You don't know it all... no really, you don't know it all... To clarify (see I told you :), if you have an anecdote, story (or worse yet) a correction for every thing the other person says, kiss your chances of a repeat date good-bye. Few people actively want to date a dullard, but fewer still want to date someone who makes them feel like one.

Rule #4: You are not Evil Kineivel's son/daughter (although that would be a good title for a bad B-movie). Most cool people can appreciate a bad ass ride. They might even appreciate your obsession with yours. On a racetrack your racing prowess might make them go weak at the knees (I know I dig girls who can race), but that does not mean that they want to die (or think that they might die) in your car. The date should be fun, but under no circumstances should it resemble "Gone in 60 seconds", "Cannonball Run", "Smokey and the Bandit" etc...

Rule #5: Be excellent (blatantly lifted from "The Tao of Steve")... You've got over 100 non-sleeping hours a week to do something. If you can't show your date that you are really good at something, well you've got problems. This is not to say that you only focus on what you do really well. It just means that you show off a bit and move on.

Rule #6: Diplomacy, diplomacy, diplomacy.... For the purposes of dating, you are Switzerland. If you have any interest in a repeat date, you do no start fights and you do not make any really big moral stands. If you need to do either, this probably isn't the one.

All right. Angel is on and I'm bored. I'll add to this list later maybe.


This was supposed to be amusing with tongue firmly in cheek (but with some amount of validity). That being said, several of your points go towards other rules that I haven't gotten around to wording correctly yet.

1. Huh? I'm not exactly sure what you meant to say with that one, but Rule #0 is currently being revised. As far as Rule #1 goes, well we've both had very long conversations examining someone else's motives and possible ulterior motives etc.. so I think it still works fine.

2. Well, yeah rule #2 is exactly mom's advice, but rule #3 is a bit more subtle. There's all sorts of things that can fall into this category. I think it makes more sense relative to geek crowds where some folks really do know damn near everything about some things (and they aren't afraid to let you know that they do). I'll elaborate more later, when I'm not falling asleep.

3. Evil Kineivel was not a "poor driver." He was a daredevil who took calculated risks. That doesn't mean that most folks would want to be in the car with him when he was in the middle of a stunt. There is a world of difference between being a crappy driver and being a reckless driver. Now a crappy, reckless driver is just really scary :)

4. That's not the point. The idea is to show that you can do something that has nothing to do with the other person very well. Since you saw the movie, you will remember that Dex's bit of excellence was his teaching/how he was with kids. He was really good at that and he did it for his own reasons, completely seperate from whoever he was pursuing. So - yeah. Listening is part of another rule. You can't count listening as what you are "excellent" at (unless you do that for a living like say a shrink). Again, giving balance to a conversation is important, but that's not what this rule covers. Remember being excellent is something you can show off but not dwell on. Whereas you should always be a good listener and conversationalist.

5. I don't think Rule #6 came across quite right. I'm revising this one too.
Once again, think comedy/humour. Honesty and politeness are fine and dandy, but that doesn't really point you in any sort of useful direction when figuring things out. That's like saying that the only thing you need to be a good driver is to be attentive and careful. Even if you don't agree with the rules/guidelines/random musings, you can stop and say "Well, no I would rather handle ____ like this"

Eh, it's probably not worth it to get into debating planning ahead vs dating by the seat of the pants (or, in your case, the crotch of the pants ;). Bottom line, we're both still single and we've both done our share of "not smart" things with people we've dated. Feel free to ignore this and any subsequent postings of rules/guidelines :-p