- Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
- Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
- Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
- Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in housewares,'...and see what happens.
- Put M&M's on lay away.
- Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
- Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
- When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?
- Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
- While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
- Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.
- In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
- Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'
- When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and mumble 'It's those voices again'.
- Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly 'Hey! You know you're out of toilet paper in here!'
and a couple of Quick Wits
----------- QW1 -------------
"Did anyone lost a roll of bills around here with a rubber band around them?"
"Yes, I did."
"Well, I've found the rubber band."
----------- QW2 -------------
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, I've found a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"