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Humor: For the Wal-Mart fans out there...

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/shopping partner/significant other is taking his/her sweet time:

  1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
  2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
  3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
  4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in housewares,'...and see what happens.
  5. Put M&M's on lay away.
  6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
  7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
  8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?
  9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
  10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
  11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.
  12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
  13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'
  14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and mumble 'It's those voices again'.
  15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly 'Hey! You know you're out of toilet paper in here!'


and a couple of Quick Wits

----------- QW1 -------------
"Did anyone lost a roll of bills around here with a rubber band around them?"

"Yes, I did."

"Well, I've found the rubber band."

----------- QW2 -------------
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, I've found a man just like father!"

Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

Comments

i love the condom idea (i've thought about doing the same with tampons in guy's carts and so on).
::sigh:: i'll have to wait until i'm no longer banned from walmart to do those things... i have four years left.
Are you serious? You're banned from Wal-Mart? All of them? How? (that's got to be quite a story :)

Do they have your picture near the door a kind of Wal-Mart's Most Hated?

Re:

yep. for five years. and that includes sam's club :/.
i don't really know how they'd know if i went to walmart but when they had me and my friend in the office, they wrote down our descriptions and blah blah. it's not hard to miss me in a crowd of people.

i like the ideaof having my mugshot up on a wall and being the notorious #1 enemy of walmart ;D
Heheh... Wal-Marts least wanted (customer that is ;)....

It'd be great if they put the picture up with one of those big tacky wild west mustaches that most wanted posters seemed to come with. Along with your criminal nickname and stuff... hehehe.

So, what's the story to being banned from Wal-Mart?

*blows whistle* That'll be 5 years in the penalty box for extreme high sticking and excessive bad attitude!

Re:

hahaha yes! and western style lettering that says "wanted dead or alive! reawrd- lifetime supply of smiley face stickers"

my friend and i got busted shoplifting. :/ the funny part was we decided to work our "magic" in the underwear section and boom. busted. i have no idea how we got busted- we've gone on a lot of five-fingered sprees at walmart. i guess our luck ran out.