from tonight:
Dave: They had a 19 degree temperature drop in 1 hour. That's like going from 40 to 31 degrees...
Me: Umm.... riiiight......
Dave: Uh... or 50 to 31.... Damn it Jim, I'm a writer not a mathematician.
Me: Yeah... I can see that...
Dave: Whatever, I never said I was Johnny on the spot.
Me: Dude, you're not even Johnny in the ballpark.
and from a while ago when we spotted our friend Charlie wearing something that made us realize that he doesn't look in mirrors much when he's getting dressed:
Me: *shaking head in dismay* I don't know how he does it... It must be part of his mystique...
Dave: That's not mystique, that's mistake.