Dragon -V- (dragonvpm) wrote,
Dragon -V-

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...on a lighter note...

Bleh, this weekend has been a bit heavy from the spiritual soul-searching side (as you can possibly see from this weekends other posts). So, as a change of pace, here are some amusing quotes:

Ever have one of those mothers that would hit you with a shoe? My mother would throw a shoe at the drop of a dime, and fuck you up, where ever she was aiming. By the time I was 10, my mother was like CLINT EASTWOOD with a shoe. - Eddie Murphy

"And [Hitler] was a vegetarian and a painter...so he must have been going "I can't get the fuckin trees... damn, I will kill everyone in the world!!!!" - Eddie Izzard

"The National Rifle Association says that guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps." - Eddie Izzard

"If a [British] film [stated earlier as A Room with View and a Staircase and a Pond...or something] did some decent bit of business [in Europe] then Hollywood would take it and they'd remake it and they'd up the budget by 50 million and it would be called "The Room with a View of HELL!", "Staircase of Satan," "Pond of Death." - Eddie Izzard

"Le souri est sur la table, la chat est sur la chaise, et le singe est sur la branche!" - Eddie Izzard

"When I was in school I didn't tell the kids I was a transvestite, cause I thought they might kill me with sticks" - Eddie Izzard

Can you keep a secret?::wait for reply::That was just a question, I'm not prepping you for a secret. - Unknown

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? - Calvin- Calvin and Hobbes

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.-Calvin- Calvin and Hobbes

If it's dangerous to talk to yourself, it's probably even dicier to listen .- Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower

A cynic: someone who sees things as they ACTUALLY ARE, and not as how they ought to be.- Ambrose Bierce

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. - Eden Phillpotts

One of the most important aspects of war is the element of surprise, and what could be more surprising than the First Batallion Transvestite Brigade? - Eddie Izzard

There was supposed to be a moral to this story. But because I'm dyslexic, it is in fact... a marble.- Eddie Izzard

If you've never seen an elephant ski then you've never been on acid! - Eddie Izzard

Either that wallpaper goes or I do. - The dying words of Oscar Wilde


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